Damn. What am I doing? I feel so lost. I want a purpose in life. I want a career! I am just sitting at home wasting my life away. Was it a mistake to quit Sephora? To be a stay at home mom to my son? Plain n simple, I want to be a makeup artist for movies. How the hell do I even get it started? Do I go to LA everyday and try to get an internship as an assistant makeup artist? Well, duh.
But first of all I can't afford the gas, and second I can't afford the gas. Sucks. I am waiting for a call from a very famous makeup line, but WHEN WILL THEY CALL!!!!!!!! I am so determined to get that job but... am I even doing things right? Should I go down to the mall and bugg the shit out of them till they call me? or make security escort me? I don't know. Okay so should I just forget my makeup dream and go be a sign language interpreter? So many unanswered questions.
Well what I have thought is no one ever became a famous makeup artist by ranting about it on a blog. I NEED to do something about it. I don't want to be 60 years old looking back on my life saying I should of could of would of.
Okay that's it.
No more wishing and moping and hoping. I am going to do something about this. I am going to get my cosmo license, I am going to get that job and make connections. I can do this. My name will be heard. I will do Lady Gaga's makeup one day! haha. I'll show everyone.
Hollywood here I come.
Tomorrow.....
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Know it all
How far can you think back? Lets try to think back in time when you were 16. In high school. It seems like a long time ago, no? Can you remember your attitude towards things back then? I just wanted to have fun. I hated listening to adults thinking they knew me and knew they could control me. I hated listening to anybody. I often dreamed of hanging out with the pretty girls, and dating the hottest guys. But I was a tall n chunky awkward girl with braces. Sexy, right? As I got older and was a senior I did become the pretty girl, and I did date the hott guys. And therefore a rebel was born. I went to college(for a year) and partied my little heart out. Came back to my hometown and was still going out like there was no tomorrow.
So now being a mother, and a wife. It's crazy how much I have changed. Back then I would of never imagined being where I am today. I had a plan. I thought I knew everything. But I didn't. I now sit at home taking care of my kid and husband. Instead of going out there and living my dream. But wait. What if I had never met my husband? Where would I be now? I'm sure this has crossed many many many minds. Would I have an amazing successful career? Or would I still be sitting at my parents house, fighting with them about what time I got home last night? I don't know. Where would I be??? I am a firm believer in the saying, "everything happened for a reason." No wonderful husband= no wonderful kid. So would I be the good person I am today or still a party girl just living in the moment? Will I be a stay at home mom forever? Fuck, honestly I have thought about this a lot and I still come up with the same answer. I have no clue.
So with that being said. Nobody knows anything about their future. You have a doctors appt. tomorrow? You don't know if you can actually make it. What if you get in a car accident or whatever. Your engaged? Great! Let's hope you make it down that alter. It's sunny tomorrow? Haha mabey. You will go to heaven when you die? Well, whatever gets you through the day. Who the hell knows anything? nobody. Everything is based on chance. Think about how you met your spouse. How did you meet him? If it weren't for the chain of events in your life, you would of never met him. My Ex boyfriend at 16 had a friend who I became friends with after we broke up, then I started dating the friend who had me meet his friends girlfriend, and then we broke up, and his friends girlfriend had me meet my husband. Got that? If this post makes no sense go ahead and keep reading. So if your a super smart business men or women or a jesus freak, it doesn't matter what you think you know because in the end all we know is that we are born, and then we are dead. We don't know if we go to heaven. We don't know if we are born again as an animal or whatever. But what about having faith you say? Well if you have so much faith then just kill yourself already as Bill Maher once said. Okay, let's back this up, because this is not a religious debate, I'm sorry for that. My point is live your life. It's not supposed to be anything but lived. Never knowing what tomorrow is bringing. Every one has a story to tell. Tell yours.
So now being a mother, and a wife. It's crazy how much I have changed. Back then I would of never imagined being where I am today. I had a plan. I thought I knew everything. But I didn't. I now sit at home taking care of my kid and husband. Instead of going out there and living my dream. But wait. What if I had never met my husband? Where would I be now? I'm sure this has crossed many many many minds. Would I have an amazing successful career? Or would I still be sitting at my parents house, fighting with them about what time I got home last night? I don't know. Where would I be??? I am a firm believer in the saying, "everything happened for a reason." No wonderful husband= no wonderful kid. So would I be the good person I am today or still a party girl just living in the moment? Will I be a stay at home mom forever? Fuck, honestly I have thought about this a lot and I still come up with the same answer. I have no clue.
So with that being said. Nobody knows anything about their future. You have a doctors appt. tomorrow? You don't know if you can actually make it. What if you get in a car accident or whatever. Your engaged? Great! Let's hope you make it down that alter. It's sunny tomorrow? Haha mabey. You will go to heaven when you die? Well, whatever gets you through the day. Who the hell knows anything? nobody. Everything is based on chance. Think about how you met your spouse. How did you meet him? If it weren't for the chain of events in your life, you would of never met him. My Ex boyfriend at 16 had a friend who I became friends with after we broke up, then I started dating the friend who had me meet his friends girlfriend, and then we broke up, and his friends girlfriend had me meet my husband. Got that? If this post makes no sense go ahead and keep reading. So if your a super smart business men or women or a jesus freak, it doesn't matter what you think you know because in the end all we know is that we are born, and then we are dead. We don't know if we go to heaven. We don't know if we are born again as an animal or whatever. But what about having faith you say? Well if you have so much faith then just kill yourself already as Bill Maher once said. Okay, let's back this up, because this is not a religious debate, I'm sorry for that. My point is live your life. It's not supposed to be anything but lived. Never knowing what tomorrow is bringing. Every one has a story to tell. Tell yours.
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